Editor’s note: This entry discusses using manners to help you to lose weight. Of course, manners alone won’t do it - they are simply a set of tools that complement the practices of eating real food in moderation. If you enjoy this article, please consider subscribing via RSS. Thanks.

Practicing good table manners is not something that is usually associated with losing weight. However, leveraging some already established table manners can give you an edge on making the habits of moderation and healthful eating really stick.

It turns out that many of the habits of good manners that Mom and Grandma enforced had more merit than just keeping us from being considered obnoxious or distasteful in the company of others. At their core, good table manners are about dignity while eating. At certain points in life some of us might pitch those habits out of the window (ah, college), but over the span of your life, in addition to making you good company at the dinner table, practicing table manners may actually contribute to better health.

How?

In the context of moderation, table manners can contribute to establishing the dietary habits of slow eating and better nutrition that you are aiming for.

The following list describes some common Western table manners that you can use to your weight loss advantage. Practices that are considered good manners vary greatly, however this list is common to almost every culture. I am by no means an expert on the subject of good table manners, but my Mother will be pleased to know that I haven’t forgotten at least a few of the lessons she made important.

1. Whenever possible, eat at the table (preferably with your family). For generations this was considered to be mannerly - to sit down together at mealtime represented honoring the importance of family. Breaking bread together in a context where you can actually see each other’s faces encourages developing the skills of eye contact when you speak, which in turn inspires self-confidence. It also provides a healthy level of consciousness about how you appear when you’re eating - most of us want to be perceived as somewhat able to get a fork from our plate to our mouth in one graceful movement, particularly in the company of others at the dinner table.

From a weight-loss perspective, eating at the table has been shown to contribute to better overall nutrition at mealtime, slower eating particularly when conversing with other family members or friends, and helping to avoid unconscious overeating, which is most common when you are eating in front of the television.

2. Don’t start eating until everyone is served. Waiting to eat until everyone is served allows you to settle down and prepare to partake of the meal. It honors the person or group that has prepared it, and gives a certain degree of respect to the idea that you are grateful for what you have. It also encourages you to observe the effort in preparation, and hopefully the care in how the meal is presented. All of these benefits contribute to a sense of dignity surrounding the meal, and ultimately serve as a reminder to slow down and enjoy the meal, rather than just shoveling it in as an activity that is sandwiched between “real life”.

3. Don’t chew with your mouth open, and don’t talk with your mouth full. I found this comment over at Holidaycook.com, and couldn’t pass it up:

“Sure, you’ve heard your mother say it a hundred times, but no one likes to see a ball of masticated meat in your mouth. If you feel you must speak immediately, if you have only a relatively small bite, tuck it into your cheek with your tongue and speak briefly.”

There are 2 aspects of this statement that are particularly applicable to losing weight through moderation: The first part suggests that if you think you’ll have anything important to say (which I’m sure you will), you should make it a practice to take small bites. This is one of the tips on moderate eating that I mentioned in a previous article (33 tips on how to lose weight without dieting). Slowing down gives your mouth a chance to taste what you’re eating and your body a chance to send the signals to your brain that you are getting full.

The second part, the idea of having room in your cheek for food, suggests that you’re not stuffing your mouth with either bites that are too big, or multiple bites at the same time. These small hacks can help you to eat less, which was probably not Mom’s intention (she was probably more concerned with you showering your company with bits of carrot), but can have a really positive side effect.

4. Use a knife with your fork. This principle relates to the previous rule, but takes it to the next step. Using a knife and fork helps you to be deliberate in the size of the bite you’re putting in your mouth. When you cut one bite at a time (which is also generally considered good manners), you also spend more time paying attention to your food, cutting each piece with care. It also typically leads to more bites, again contributing to slowing down, which helps you to identify the sensation of approaching fullness (rather than waiting until after you’ve overeaten.) Using a knife and fork is also much easier when done at a table - such as the dinner table, with your family, reinforcing another good habit.

In addition to the dining refinement that using a knife can suggest (yes, cutting up a Snickers bar with a knife is a little hoity toity), this rule applies to many of the things we eat fairly regularly, like meat or salad. When it comes to salad, if you can’t fit it in your mouth without creating a schematic or a series of small cranes to fit it between the corners of your mouth, the lettuce is too large. Cut it down to bite size, and enjoy it.

5. Don’t “wolf down” your food - Take your time. As one of the core principles of AlmostFit, eating slower is not only beneficial from a digestive and fullness perspective, but it is a respectful way of dignifying the person who prepared the meal. This includes yourself, if you are eating alone, or if you are the one doing the cooking.

In the bigger picture of overall health, it should also serve as a reminder that a meaningful principle in life is to slow down and enjoy the moment. In particular, meals taken with friends and loved ones are likely at the top of the list when the end of life comes around; if you can look back at thousands of memories of savoring the moments spent breaking bread with your family and friends, it is a sign of a life well spent.

6. Swallow your food before taking a drink - with a few exceptions. For the most part, this practice reinforces the idea that if you are forced to hammer your food down your throat with a drink, you’re eating too fast. Slow down.

The exception to this however, is there are times when letting wine commingle with the flavors of the food can be quite pleasurable. Cheeses and savory foods like high quality bacon are incredibly well suited to be tasted with wine, not to mention dark chocolate.

7. “When eating a bread roll, tear off a bite at a time rather than biting into the whole roll. If you choose to butter your bread, place a small pat or two on your bread plate and then butter each individual bite-sized piece.”

This quote came from an article on Howtotodothings.com, and fits well with the idea of taking your time to eat, particularly bread. For me, a basket of bread can disappear in seconds - small mannerly reminders like this are useful in helping suggest a slower pace.

8. Straighten up the dining area and set the table. Preparing the dinner table suggests the importance of the meal you are about to eat, and indicates that you care about the process of taking in food. Its one huge reminder to take your time, savor your food, and appreciate the company that shares it - all of which are key concepts in slowing down to prevent eating more food than you need. Items such as candles can also enhance the mood, and fresh flowers on the table never hurt. In fact, Husbands, provided that your wife doesn’t have a severe allergic reaction to the fresh daffodils, its an excellent way to impress your significant other.

Although it may not be necessary to adhere to the strict rules of silverware, it can be fun, whether you have children or not, to have a formal meal once in a while. It can be a blast to go all out - dress up, use cloth napkins (which can often be found at thrift stores, if you look for them), and eat in courses over the span of an evening. this can be especially fun if you invite friends over for a formal dinner treatment.

Not to mention, training your kids on how to use silverware may benefit them later in life, in situations like business meetings or when trying to impress a potential romantic interest.

9. Taste your food before you add salt. Many of us are in the habit of breaking out the salt and pepper as soon as the food hits the table. At home I rarely do this (I taste the food first), but in restaurants for some reason I almost always immediately reach for the salt. Tasting your food before you add any condiment accomplishes two things: 1) it dignifies the taste and skill of your host, and 2) it gives you a chance to withhold the salt if its not necessary.

Overconsumption of salt has been linked with all sorts of unhealthy side effects like high blood pressure, and 90% of the time, we don’t need to add more than is already present in the dish. As your salt tolerance decreases over time, pretty soon you will notice that you can taste more of the subtleties of your food, which is a good thing. Not to mention, if you’re out on the town and eat salty foods, you may find that your added thirst may help to rationalize that extra beer or two. Or three. Then again, can I really pin that one on salt?

10. “Don’t feel you have to eat everything that is given you. […] Don’t take huge portions of food because you can always go back for seconds (if asked!)” This tip on dining etiquette comes from an article on WikiAnswers.com. There are times when taking a modest portion slips you by - you take more than you can eat without feeling overly full. This can also happen when several dishes are passed, and each one looks like the main dish, or like something you are going to really, really like (at least I know that happens to me). If you take too much, be gracious, but don’t stuff yourself out of a false sense of consideration for your host.

In the UK it is apparently common to acknowledge that the dish is delicious, but declining to finish by saying something like, “my eyes were larger than my stomach,” which seems very reasonable.

11. Offer a genuine complement to the person who prepared the meal. The key to applying this practice to weight loss through moderation is the word genuine. While it may be the case that the person who prepared the food may appreciate a complement along the lines of, “Wow, you really know how to serve a LOT of food!” — in most cases, being genuinely complementary about the taste, quality, and presentation is of greater value. Of course, this implies that you were paying attention to the food you ate, and took the time to notice the details of the flavors involved. When you sit down to eat a meal, have a goal in mind of finding the finer qualities of the dish or dishes that are offered by tasting each dish, rather than shoveling them down and noticing very little about the fine points of the dish.

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